Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
