I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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