that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
