everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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