I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
