k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
