May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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