I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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