She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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