Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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