i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
