sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
where am i from again
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
