Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
