I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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