You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
