I accidentally had phone sex last night
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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