I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
