just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
