what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize