apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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