I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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