recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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