My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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