Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
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