Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My vagina is very pro this idea
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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