oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
