I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
