Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just had sex bonerless
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
