I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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