y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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