now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
