we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
