Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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