I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
