He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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