so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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