I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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