I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
