I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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