Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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