You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
