you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
