you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
