listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
