I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
