That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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