Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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