I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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