There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
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So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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