My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
