You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
