Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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