Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
