"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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