i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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