I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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