Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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