so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
