wrigley field is MILF paradise
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
