pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Someone signed my nipple.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
