if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
